This is so much better than FML

Today I was watching porn and it asked my "Are you over 18?" I said yes. I'm not. The police still have not caught me. MLIA

Today I received my degree in statistics. My life is averages.

Today, no one wished me a happy birthday. I wasn't suprised, today isn't my birthday. MLIA.

Today, I wore Axe body spray. I wasn't tackled by any women. MLIA.

Today I was in my room masturbating. No one came in. It was pleasant. MLIA

Today, I noticed someone I knew was walking in front of me in the same direction, I maintained my distance. MLIA

Today, I downloaded music illegally. I didn't get caught. MLIA.